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The Fear of Farting

There I was waiting to enter the elevator as I was headed up to the conference room on the 14th floor. I was anxious as this was the most important presentation I had ever given in my career. I pushed the button again, no idea why but we all do it. The elevator finally arrived as the doors opened, I could already see just how crowded it was; there were people packed into every inch of space. Two people stepped off, and I could see a gap big enough for me to fit in. Now, I usually would have just waited for the next elevator and ridden to the floor in comfort, but I was running out of time, so I climbed into the sardine can and pushed number 14. 

There is no explanation as to why it always happens; as soon as the elevator doors closed, I felt it in my stomach. That weird sensation you get just before you let one go. I put my hand against my stomach and held my breath, this elevator was packed, and I was not willing to embarrass myself by farting in front of all these people. Who knew who these people were? This elevator could be full of executives and the decision-makers in the company. If I let rip, my entire career could come crashing down. 

I continued to hold my breath and looked up to see what floor we were on; it was the 5th. This was not what I was hoping for; I looked at the row of numbers in front of me, and it looked like every floor had been selected. It was becoming unbearable to hold in, and I could feel beads of sweat beginning to form on my forehead. I couldn’t go on much longer; my stomach began to hurt from the pressure being caused by the trapped gas. 

 I slowly released, and thankfully there was no sound. I held my breath, did anyone notice? Oh my goodness, what about the smell? I began to panic for a second, then remembered my wife had given me the scented fart pills from Flatuscents. The air suddenly smelt like roses only slightly, but I relaxed and knew that this day was going to go well. I thanked my wife in my mind and Flatuscents for creating this extraordinary masterpiece that had just saved the day for me.

scented fart pills

Are you at the point where your husband now has to sleep in the guest room because his farts smell so awful? The truth is you are not alone; flatulence is a natural function that the average adult does more than ten times a day on average. The choice of diet is what makes the gas have a terrible odor. Notably, high in sulfur foods will cause smelly farts, red meats, milk, and high fiber vegetables are some of the culprits, so reducing those will make a big difference. 


Unsurprisingly, if hubby brinks a lot of beer, this will also cause him to have stinky farts. This is because the beer will ferment in the gut. If he smokes, this, too, is known to cause a foul odor in the flatulence. Another cause of noxious flatulence is overeating, the backup of food in the digestive system can cause the bacteria to release sulfur while breaking down the foods. 

So, the question is, what do you do to get hubby back into bed with you? Firstly, you could change his diet at home, but will he stick to it once he is back in the office? You can try to limit the amount of beer he drinks, but you know that Sunday during the game, it is a tradition. 


A healthy digestive system will help to reduce the number of stinky farts he produces. Encourage him to work out and get the blood flowing through his body. The increased oxygen in his blood from exercise will improve his digestive organs’ performance and improve his overall health. If he refuses the change of diet, lay off the booze, and exercise, then it is time for plan B. 

There is a revolutionary pill from Flatuscents that will not only help the health of your digestive system but make your farts smell good. Yes, these scented fart pills will make your gas smell like roses. Just go to www.flatuscents.com and get your hubby back in the bed with you where he belongs.